Blessings often come with Runny Noses, Raccoon Eyes, and Weird Looks

I love my God, because my God is the only god I know who honours even the smallest, silliest prayer requests. The ones that we feel too sheepish, or too ashamed, to ask. The Bible clearly states: 'Ask and it shall be given unto you.' Matthew 7:7

These last two months have seriously tested my faith because I am not familiar with trusting God for finances. The Lord has blessed my family throughout the years so that we never really needed to rely on God for money. But we are not rolling in dough either. We are just very "comfortably blessed" and realize that with such a blessing we are responsible to share it with others. As a result, my parents have given time and money to multiple charities and Christian organizations, the most recent act in being helping out their own missionary kid. (:

I was first tested with finances and trusting God a year ago when I was in my Discipleship Training School in Kona, Hawaii. The Lord told me to give an offering of $50 to the speaker, but I knew I did not have $50. I ran into my room to throw something in my wallet and saw only two twenties, thus meaning I only had $40. But I knew in my heart God wanted me to give $50. As I took the IOU paper, so I could pay the next day seeing as I wasn't allowed to go back to my room, I reluctantly wrote $50 then put it in the offering. For the duration of the teaching, I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't concentrate on anything else other than where the heck am I going to get $10.

I didn't even think about an ATM, and even if I did I'm pretty sure God would have frozen my account. I didn't have the guts to ask someone else if I could borrow the money, because then they would think I am irresponsible signing for money I didn't have. I felt utterly hopeless, and a million excuses began to run through my mind about why I signed up for $50 when I only had $40. "Maybe they won't call me back." "Oh shoot, well I know I signed up for $50 but my friends invited me to dinner and I had to use $10."  "What? Noooo, that's how I sign my 4's." "That's not my handwriting..." "Nooooo, I'm not Lauren. My name is uhh, Rachmad Jusuki...? What? My parents like ethnic names!" "I'm going to live in the cave under the soccer field until they forget about it." 

To you those ten dollars seem paltry, or ridiculous, but to me it became a life or death situation. One so much so that I thought, I am going to be in the biggest trouble because I misheard God's voice. Which then led me down a deeper rabbit hole, because I had to evaluate which hurt more: The fact that I misheard God's voice or the fact that I wasn't trusting him for a measly ten dollars? 

As soon as the speaker was done I bolted across the campus to my room, tore open my suitcase like a robber, and grabbed my wallet. As I looked inside, my heart sank deeper than the Titanic. I could feel the tears welling up. I only had two twenties... But, but I was so sure I heard God's voice. 


My knees began to cave, then I saw something hiding in my receipts. I pulled it out. I sprung up like a jack in the box screaming with joy. My roommates ran into the room, terrified, "What's wrong?!" "Nothing!" I said with the biggest smile, "I have $60!" The smile froze and I looked again, yup. The bill sitting in my hand was a 20 not a 10. "Oh my gosh! I have $60!!! I don't have $50, I have $60!" My poor roomies probably thought I had gone nuts, they quietly turned around and walked out like nothing happened. I fell the floor giddy with joy bombs, saying "thank you" at least a million times. Because of my obedience, God took care of the details, and gave me an extra $10. 

For those of you who haven't read my blog before [shame on you! but I forgive you], allow me to fill you in on the details. As of late August, I needed $2,300 to go on a two weeks-mini-time-to-find-Jesus-on-a-whole-new-level-and-another-piece-of-my-calling-missions-trip to the Philippines in just over a month. A few weeks later, after receiving $750 towards my trip, my laptop started taking a turn for the worst. I soon came to the realization of, "Oh crud, Blackie isn't going to make it!" And, of course, it would cost almost the same amount to fix all of his issues that it would to buy a new one. I started looking around and found a newer one that better fits me as a missionary, but would also be efficient at work. Unfortunately, it was another $800. So now my total became $3,100... This is a bit of a stretch from the $10 I needed a year ago.

As I was driving into work today, I couldn't help but find myself in the exact same place I was a year ago-without the excuses. How on earth am I supposed to find another $800 on top of the $450 I need for my trip? I'm not... So for now, I'll raise the money for the Philippines and worry about the computer later. 

What I had forgotten is that God had told me he knew my needs and he was in control. I had also forgotten a word he gave me back in December in which he told me this would be a season of testings and blessings. But when you're in need, you often tend to forget His promises. But the beauty of it all is while we may forget, the Lord will never forget. 

This morning my boss gave me a letter which came with a support check. I read the letter, then quickly made my way outside so no one would see the river that was pouring from my eyes:

"Hi Lauren, 

Here is your new laptop. Hope you are doing good, keep up the great work. God bless."

The Lord knows your needs, the extreme and the silly, all He asks of us is that we trust in Him to provide in His timing. Now please excuse me, I am going to try to remove these newly made raccoon eyes. Does anybody have a tissue? 

Our God reigns! 

Saint

A few days later... 

I received a call this morning from someone who wants to send me a check for my trip; but I don't know how much it's for. Regardless I only need $450. PTL!

PHILIPPINES HERE I COME!!!!