The Shadow stares at the vast city which lays before her.
A sleeping giant waits in the midst of lies, oppression, darkness.
A stirring which cannot be ignored causes her heart to race, pound, scream.
Silence is torn from her mouth, leaving marks of pain, confusion, trust.
Visions haunt her eyes as they flash in the midnight skies.
Each one grows, carries into the next, like a movie of fantastical childlike imaginations.
This is not possible. Yet, nor is it impossible.
Gleaming golden, silver armour now takes the place of the hoodie, Converse, and torn jeans.
The Sword of Truth rests lightly at her side, gently in her calloused, trained hand.
The sound of thunder, roars like lions, a thousand marching, Saints' soldiers marching.
Yet they are invisible, inaudible to anyone but the still small voice inside Saint's head.
A blinding light immerges from behind, beneath the mountain.
A new dawn has arisen, a new day is coming.
The Sin City Saint has come home, and the Holy Spirit stands proudly with her ready to change Las Vegas.
Change the World.
"God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."
John 3:17.
People get ready, Jesus is coming.
Six months.
Six months have come and gone since I last was here, in this most beautiful city I know to be my home.
Six months of living life as it were while I traveled the world, experienced God, found my identity, found life.
What I have seen, most do not, what I have heard, most do not. It's a bit frightening, and altogether overwhelming. I often find myself lying in this ginormous bed wondering, did all that really happen? Or am I simply dreaming? I've begun to dream again, something that has escaped me for almost a year now. Granted they make no sense most of the time, but these past six months could very well be made up by such an insane, abnormal mind like mine. No, I'm not mentally crazy, nor do I have any "mental disorders"-I've been freed from that. I have been freed from it all, strongholds, lies, demonic oppressions, all of it.
I've lived in Hawaii training to be a Disciple of Christ, a Fisher of Men, a Lover of Men-showing them God's true love and what it means to be a Son or Daughter to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
I've lived in Mumbai/Wardha, India for another three months experiencing what it means to live as a Disciple.
The things I've seen, the things I've heard.
Some of them scar my mind, and will scar my memories forever. Especially the slums, and the Red Light District.
But for the most part, I can honestly say admist the darkness, the oppression, the depression, I found joy. I found life. I found God.
More than anything I can hear his still, small voice as well as I hear yours.
To you it's inaudible, an imaginary friend.
But to me, it's so real. He's proven it through many experiences, many, many, many times. With friends or strangers, he speaks to me about them [their pasts or current struggles] and they confirm what he has told me. A bit strange, very weird at first, I know. But believe me, it's so incredible, and ultimately AWESOME to know that you can talk to your Heavenly Father, the Creator of this Universe, the one who made you as easily as you can talk to your best friend.
Let me put this in terms more of you will understand: you call it a 'conscience', I call it 'the Holy Spirit.'
There truly is no difference between the two, other than a name because 'scientifically speaking' we cannot use religious terms to describe something that deals with the natural-being us humans-so we give it a different name which even has the word 'science' in it.
Being home has definitely proved to be the biggest challenge, moreso than serving in a third world country.
It is, indeed, a culture shock, especially coming home from a place like India the week before Christmas.
And living in a place where greed is the thriving, driving force of this city's income.
Please understand, I am not trying to bash this city, or my country. I love Las Vegas, and I love America. I would die for this country if need be.
But, it is indeed a major culture shock: everything from the traffic, to people's emotions and interaction with each other, houses, cars, clothing, food, everything!
It's been a rough week trying to adjust, while at the same time trying to explain to people what I saw, what I've experienced, and ultimately how I myself have changed.
I know I have. I underwent one of the greatest transformations of my life, I can see it, I can feel it. I cannot necessarily pinpoint the areas where, but overall I know I have. And others have been able to notice as well.
I know I've grown in having more peace, patience, grace, maintaining a positive attitude.
But more than anything, I have grown in love and joy.
It's hard seeing friends and some family members struggle to be as joyful or loving as I have grown to be.
Why they cannot change as I have is beyond me, but I know that they have to want it, they have to go on their own adventure to find it as I have. Some will make that journey, while others will not.
At the same time, it's nice to be able to see my home through my physical eyes instead of my spiritual.
God would give me a lot of visions regarding this city during my long trek, many including specific areas of the Strip or areas near my home. They're exactly as I remember them when I left, but different from the visions. For the visions were about changing this city, teaching it the true value and true meaning of love. God's love. There is no one and nothing that anyone can ever do that will disqualify them from being loved by God. Nothing. Yet, as I saw in the Red Light District in India, many are held captive by the lies that there are. That they have to earn it, they have to seek it, they will never be good enough.
Lies! Lies! Lies!
I'm sick of such lies! I fell for those lies! And I can tell you firsthand, that God loves you regardless! In fact, God loves you more than you could ever, even in your wildest dreams, imagine! You don't see this because you fall for the lies and automatically cut off any capabilities to receive his love. He's not refusing to pour out his love onto you, you're refusing to receive it.
You are your own worst enemy, God is your greatest lover.
If I have learned anything in this being home for a week, it's this: Yes, it will be hard to try to adjust to the things I grew accustomed to when I left. But now I can grow accustomed again, this time with more love to pour out on those surrounding me. Strangers, family, friends, it doesn't matter.
The God I met in Hawaii who broke down all the walls, lies, oppression; the God who revealed untold majesties and wonders and poured out more love on me until I was literally sinking and drowning at the same time in such a river of life; the God who is going to shake up and rebuild this City of Sin is the exact same God.
It does not matter where I go or where I am, God is still the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
The God we hear of in church, and see on outreaches to India, is the exact same God we read about in the Bible.
And there is only one thing he is calling us to do. It's not to just go and convert people, it's not to call out the sinners for their past mistakes, it's to be a disciple. A disciple is a model example of Christ. Christ did not go and condemn the sinners, he saved them by his ultimate sacrifice of love. He LOVED everyone.
That is what I am called to do, as a Sin City Saint I am called to love everyone.
For it is only by love and faith that I can see these visions, these cries of my heart to come alive.
Jesus Loves You, and so do I,
Sin City Saint
A sleeping giant waits in the midst of lies, oppression, darkness.
A stirring which cannot be ignored causes her heart to race, pound, scream.
Silence is torn from her mouth, leaving marks of pain, confusion, trust.
Visions haunt her eyes as they flash in the midnight skies.
Each one grows, carries into the next, like a movie of fantastical childlike imaginations.
This is not possible. Yet, nor is it impossible.
Gleaming golden, silver armour now takes the place of the hoodie, Converse, and torn jeans.
The Sword of Truth rests lightly at her side, gently in her calloused, trained hand.
The sound of thunder, roars like lions, a thousand marching, Saints' soldiers marching.
Yet they are invisible, inaudible to anyone but the still small voice inside Saint's head.
A blinding light immerges from behind, beneath the mountain.
A new dawn has arisen, a new day is coming.
The Sin City Saint has come home, and the Holy Spirit stands proudly with her ready to change Las Vegas.
Change the World.
"God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."
John 3:17.
People get ready, Jesus is coming.
Six months.
Six months have come and gone since I last was here, in this most beautiful city I know to be my home.
Six months of living life as it were while I traveled the world, experienced God, found my identity, found life.
What I have seen, most do not, what I have heard, most do not. It's a bit frightening, and altogether overwhelming. I often find myself lying in this ginormous bed wondering, did all that really happen? Or am I simply dreaming? I've begun to dream again, something that has escaped me for almost a year now. Granted they make no sense most of the time, but these past six months could very well be made up by such an insane, abnormal mind like mine. No, I'm not mentally crazy, nor do I have any "mental disorders"-I've been freed from that. I have been freed from it all, strongholds, lies, demonic oppressions, all of it.
I've lived in Hawaii training to be a Disciple of Christ, a Fisher of Men, a Lover of Men-showing them God's true love and what it means to be a Son or Daughter to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
I've lived in Mumbai/Wardha, India for another three months experiencing what it means to live as a Disciple.
The things I've seen, the things I've heard.
Some of them scar my mind, and will scar my memories forever. Especially the slums, and the Red Light District.
But for the most part, I can honestly say admist the darkness, the oppression, the depression, I found joy. I found life. I found God.
More than anything I can hear his still, small voice as well as I hear yours.
To you it's inaudible, an imaginary friend.
But to me, it's so real. He's proven it through many experiences, many, many, many times. With friends or strangers, he speaks to me about them [their pasts or current struggles] and they confirm what he has told me. A bit strange, very weird at first, I know. But believe me, it's so incredible, and ultimately AWESOME to know that you can talk to your Heavenly Father, the Creator of this Universe, the one who made you as easily as you can talk to your best friend.
Let me put this in terms more of you will understand: you call it a 'conscience', I call it 'the Holy Spirit.'
There truly is no difference between the two, other than a name because 'scientifically speaking' we cannot use religious terms to describe something that deals with the natural-being us humans-so we give it a different name which even has the word 'science' in it.
Being home has definitely proved to be the biggest challenge, moreso than serving in a third world country.
It is, indeed, a culture shock, especially coming home from a place like India the week before Christmas.
And living in a place where greed is the thriving, driving force of this city's income.
Please understand, I am not trying to bash this city, or my country. I love Las Vegas, and I love America. I would die for this country if need be.
But, it is indeed a major culture shock: everything from the traffic, to people's emotions and interaction with each other, houses, cars, clothing, food, everything!
It's been a rough week trying to adjust, while at the same time trying to explain to people what I saw, what I've experienced, and ultimately how I myself have changed.
I know I have. I underwent one of the greatest transformations of my life, I can see it, I can feel it. I cannot necessarily pinpoint the areas where, but overall I know I have. And others have been able to notice as well.
I know I've grown in having more peace, patience, grace, maintaining a positive attitude.
But more than anything, I have grown in love and joy.
It's hard seeing friends and some family members struggle to be as joyful or loving as I have grown to be.
Why they cannot change as I have is beyond me, but I know that they have to want it, they have to go on their own adventure to find it as I have. Some will make that journey, while others will not.
At the same time, it's nice to be able to see my home through my physical eyes instead of my spiritual.
God would give me a lot of visions regarding this city during my long trek, many including specific areas of the Strip or areas near my home. They're exactly as I remember them when I left, but different from the visions. For the visions were about changing this city, teaching it the true value and true meaning of love. God's love. There is no one and nothing that anyone can ever do that will disqualify them from being loved by God. Nothing. Yet, as I saw in the Red Light District in India, many are held captive by the lies that there are. That they have to earn it, they have to seek it, they will never be good enough.
Lies! Lies! Lies!
I'm sick of such lies! I fell for those lies! And I can tell you firsthand, that God loves you regardless! In fact, God loves you more than you could ever, even in your wildest dreams, imagine! You don't see this because you fall for the lies and automatically cut off any capabilities to receive his love. He's not refusing to pour out his love onto you, you're refusing to receive it.
You are your own worst enemy, God is your greatest lover.
If I have learned anything in this being home for a week, it's this: Yes, it will be hard to try to adjust to the things I grew accustomed to when I left. But now I can grow accustomed again, this time with more love to pour out on those surrounding me. Strangers, family, friends, it doesn't matter.
The God I met in Hawaii who broke down all the walls, lies, oppression; the God who revealed untold majesties and wonders and poured out more love on me until I was literally sinking and drowning at the same time in such a river of life; the God who is going to shake up and rebuild this City of Sin is the exact same God.
It does not matter where I go or where I am, God is still the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
The God we hear of in church, and see on outreaches to India, is the exact same God we read about in the Bible.
And there is only one thing he is calling us to do. It's not to just go and convert people, it's not to call out the sinners for their past mistakes, it's to be a disciple. A disciple is a model example of Christ. Christ did not go and condemn the sinners, he saved them by his ultimate sacrifice of love. He LOVED everyone.
That is what I am called to do, as a Sin City Saint I am called to love everyone.
For it is only by love and faith that I can see these visions, these cries of my heart to come alive.
Jesus Loves You, and so do I,
Sin City Saint
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